Fatherhood

This weekend I had some good practice with babies in preparation for my adventure into fatherhood.  I spent the weekend with my beautiful bride and we watched a 1-year old, a 4-month old, and a 2-month old (all at separate times–I still need more practice before I am ready to take on more than one at a time).  I also got to take care of a 3-month old during the last hour of church today, all by myself.  If any of you know my wife, you’ll recognize that she is having a good influence on me 🙂

To be absolutely honest, fatherhood is a scary responsibility.  Not only do I need to provide for and protect my wife who is a fully grown and mature adult, but I also will be called upon to take care of, teach, and discipline our Heavenly Father’s precious children as they come into our lives.  Fortunately for me I have some good mentors and a good woman by my side to whom I can turn to for support and assistance.

The National Fatherhood Institute (www.fatherhood.org) has published some statistics that show just how important a present, caring father really is in the home.  Children in father-absent homes are five times more likely to be poor, 2-3 times more likely to use drugs, twice as likely to engage in early sexual activity, and 7 times as likely to become pregnant as a teenager.

A telephone survey of 701 American men selected to be representative of American fathers showed that 81% agreed that men do better as fathers when they are married to the mother of their children, of the 8 possible choices given 89% said they learned to be a better father from the child’s mother, and 99% agreed that being a father was an important part of their identity.  They have also discovered that over 24 million children in the U.S. (1 out of every 3) live apart from their biological father.

We are blessed to live in a day when we have prophets who lead and guide us. The Family: A Proclamation to the World states “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God” and that “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.”  I am grateful for the clarity with which we are taught our role as fathers within the Church!  We have the teachings of the living prophets, the scriptures, and the example of a loving Heavenly Father to follow as we strive to rear our children in righteousness–and that makes this new role a little easier to shoulder.

I am still preparing to be a good father.  I am grateful for the mothers in our ward who have given me the opportunity to practice on their kids as I have babysat with my wife.  I know that I can be a good father and that Heavenly Father will help me–and everyone else who humbly turns to Him.  May we all continue to do so!

Cleaning

The other day, my wife and I made a mess of our kitchen cooking dinner.  We love to cook together and it is a fun way for us to spend time together and also enjoy a delicious meal as the fruits of our labors.  However, as soon as I walked into the kitchen after our dinner was done my icky sense went off.  There were dirty dishes everywhere and the kitchen was a mess!  My wife and I went to work, this time cleaning instead of cooking.  After a short while our kitchen was clean, the dishes were done, and I felt loads better.  I love the feeling of a clean room and the satisfaction I get from working to clean a room–it is definitely worth it!

In like manner we can clean our souls, a much more eternal sense of cleaning, through the Atonement and repentance.  I have been reading the General Conference talks from this last General Conference (October 2010) and found a couple of talks that address the issue of repentance and how it fits into the Father’s plan.

The first talk is from Sister Mary N. Cook.  She talks about her recently born granddaughter: “[she] came to this earth pure, but as part of the plan, she will face trials and temptations and she will make mistakes. Through our Savior’s Atonement, however, [she] can be forgiven, receive a fulness of joy, and be pure again—ready to live forever in the presence of our Heavenly Father.” (Mary N. Cook, “Be an Example of the Believers,” Ensign, November 2010).  Heavenly Father did send us to this world pure and innocent–and that was made possible because of the Atonement of our Savior (see Moroni 8).  However, He knew that in this imperfect world where Satan runs rampant that we would make mistakes.  The truth of the matter is that it is okay to make mistakes–that is the whole reason we have a Redeemer!  Heavenly Father, as part of His perfect plan and because of the perfect Atonement of Jesus Christ, provided for us to make mistakes, learn from them, repent, and be forgiven.

President Boyd K. Packer also gave a wonderful talk (Boyd K. Packer, “Cleansing the Inner Vessel,” Ensign, November 2010) and I am afraid that some of his finer points on repentance and the Plan of Salvation were lost with all the media controversy.  Here are some thoughts that I really felt tied things together for me:

First of all, President Packer speaks of the grand council in our pre-mortal life and the purpose of our existence when he made reference to this scripture:  “And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.” (Abraham 3:25).  We were sent to this earth to learn.

Then President Packer explains the purpose of life: “It is intended that we be happy, for ‘men are, that they might have joy.’ (2 Nephi 2:25).  We were sent to this earth not only to learn, but also to be happy and find joy!

In order to have that joy and happiness, we must be free to act and to choose–in other words, we must have agency: men must be “free . . . to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day.”(2 Nephi 2:26).  We must be able to make decisions for ourselves if we are to find enduring happiness.  This is a true principle–just look at any toddler who chooses to help clean up and compare that with one that is forced to help clean up.

President Packer then teaches that “wickedness never was happiness.” (Alma 41:10) and makes reference to Isaiah with the warning, “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!” (Isaiah 5:20). What this tells us is that, while we are free to choose, if we choose wickedness then we will also be choosing unhappiness.  Also, it is a mistake when we confuse what is really considered evil and call it good.  Ergo, if we want to fulfill our purpose on this earth we need to choose the things of righteousness or else we cannot be happy.

President Packer then brings us back to our Savior by reminding us of the power of the Atonement in helping us to find joy through repentance after we have made some incorrect decisions: “Nowhere are the generosity and the kindness and mercy of God more manifest than in repentance. Do you understand the consummate cleansing power of the Atonement made by the Son of God, our Savior, our Redeemer? He said, ‘I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent.’ (D&C 19:16) In that supernal act of love, the Savior paid the penalties for our sins so that we might not have to pay.”  We really can repent and Heavenly Father is more than willing to forgive us if we choose to exercise faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ.  Our Savior suffered beyond our understanding in order to provide for all of us, if we so choose, to rejoice in the cleanness that comes from repentance.  We can be clean again, we can remove that icky sense, and we can return to live with our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, once more!

In closing, I want to quote President Packer once more: “I know of no more beautiful and consoling words in all of revelation than these: ‘Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.’ (D&C 58:42)”  I am grateful for the supernal gift of repentance.  I know that we can become clean and that Heavenly Father forgives those who truly seek this gift through the Atonement of our Savior.  Let us make our souls clean again, let us repent often, and let us turn to our Lord!

A Guide for the Next Six Months

I recently visited Japan, a country rich in culture with a wonderful language.  Unfortunately I don’t understand Japanese, nor can I read it.  It is an interesting experience leaving the comfort and safety of your home and flying thousands of miles away and arriving in a strange land with strange customs where everyone speaks a strange language–a person can definitely get lost easily!  Fortunately for me, I had a friend with me that was familiar with the location who could guide me to the right destination.  Thanks to my friend I made it to my work location without a problem and was able to get everything done in my short stay that I was tasked to do.  My friend, because of her experience and because of her knowledge, became a good guide for me to follow.

Life can be a lot like that trip to Japan.  Many times we feel lost or confused about where we need to head.  This life is full of choices, many of which are enticing.  To make matters worse, there are many false guides that would lead us astray.  There are many things calling for our attention, and sometimes it is just plain difficult to make a good decision.  Where can we turn for help?

Fortunately for us our Heavenly Father has provided us some guides to help us along this journey we call life.  One of the most important guides he has given us are the prophets, who because of their experience or knowledge can guide us safely through the perils of life.  Prophets are indeed a blessing, especially to the lost or tired.

We recently received guidance from our prophets in these latter days.  Every six months in General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, our leaders address us and teach us how we can make better decisions in life.  We get blessed for a whole weekend of discourses where we can find comfort, direction, and peace.  Unfortunately, many of us do not take advantage of the resources provided to us so that we can remember the things that were taught.  The Church has published the recent General Conference addresses here, I would encourage you to read, listen to, or watch these talks again.  They are our guide, our map,  for the next 6 months!  These are the things that our leaders are warning us about, the twists and turns of life that we can avoid and be happier for doing so.  These are the lessons we need to understand in order to successfully navigate the choices that we need to make.  I know that by following this counsel, the most recent and relevent council for our day, that we can find safety and become better people.  The Lord has spoken to us through His inspired servants–are we listening?