Why I Cannot Support Same-Sex Marriage

(Disclaimer: the views of the following post are wholly the authors and do not represent those of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints)

I know this is a controversial topic and it is one that I have struggled with.  In the gospel of Jesus Christ we learn to love all of God’s children, that we need to be compassionate and loving (see 1 Thessalonians 3:12; 1 John 3:17;D&C 121:45).  We are taught to be charitable and kind and to serve others.  However, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has clearly come out against same-sex marriage.  Why would a Church that professes to follow Jesus Christ and to do His teachings, including those of loving our fellow-man, be so against same-sex marriage?  After all, shouldn’t we all be treated with equality and fairness?  I believe that the reason is because same-sex marriage undermines Heavenly Father’s plan for His children.  I also believe that regardless of what man’s laws state, either for same-sex marriage or for more traditional marriage, God’s laws are unchangeable and clear, and we should be obedient to God’s laws if we want the promised blessings.

The Plan of Salvation

Our Father in Heaven has a plan for us.  He wants us to have all that He has and to enjoy eternal happiness.  We lived with Him as His spirit sons and daughters before we came to this earth.  His plan included a means for us to obtain physical bodies and earthly experience so that we could learn to live as He lives.  We came to this earth to fulfill that purpose and when this life is through we will have an opportunity to stand before our Heavenly Father and account for our choices.  Those who choose to follow our Savior, Jesus Christ, and repent of their poor choices in this life will receive the blessing of life as God knows it.

We…solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children…We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife…THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. (The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

This is how God defines marriage: ordained of God when between a man and a woman.  God has commanded His children to multiply and replenish the earth because we find joy in our posterity and it is the way He has ordained His spirit children to receive physical bodies.  The procreative powers we posses are sacred and are meant to be used, but only within the covenant of marriage as God defines it because it is essential to His plan.

I love the talk that Elder Dallin H. Oaks, an apostle chosen to be a special witness of Christ in our day, ordained to declare God’s word to the world, gave in last October’s General Conference:

We know that the marriage of a man and a woman is necessary for the accomplishment of God’s plan. Only this marriage will provide the approved setting for mortal birth and to prepare family members for eternal life. We look on marriage and the bearing and nurturing of children as part of God’s plan and a sacred duty of those given the opportunity to do so. We believe that the ultimate treasures on earth and in heaven are our children and our posterity…we believe that, as an essential part of His plan of salvation, God has established an eternal standard that sexual relations should occur only between a man and a woman who are married…The emphasis we place on the law of chastity is explained by our understanding of the purpose of our procreative powers in the accomplishment of God’s plan. Outside the bonds of marriage between a man and a woman, all uses of our procreative powers are to one degree or another sinful and contrary to God’s plan for the exaltation of His children. (Elder Dallin H. Oaks,”No Other Gods,” October 2013 General Conference)

Clearly the standard is the same regardless of who you are: sexual relations are to be employed only between a man and a woman who are married.  This is the way Heavenly Father provides for all of His children.  The blessings promised to the faithful are outstanding which includes happiness and prosperity in this life as well as eternal life, or the kind of life that God enjoys, in the hereafter.  We obtain these blessings only through our obedience.

Obedience

Our loving Heavenly Father, knowing the end from the beginning and the importance of family units in our eternal happiness declared: “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” (Exodus 20:14) and “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication” (1 Thessalonians 4:3).  Sexual transgression is a serious sin, no matter whether it is a man and a woman or a same-sex relationship.  The Family: A Proclamation to the World states “We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.”  This is very clear: sex is good and wonderful but only when employed between a man and a woman who are lawfully wedded in a relationship that God ordains.  This has been God’s law from the foundation of the world when He created Adam and Eve.

I believe that the reason why I cannot support same-sex marriage is stated between these two principles: the principle of the Plan of Salvation whereby Heavenly Father’s spirit children obtain bodies and progress toward perfection and the principle of the Law of Chastity, including the correct and wonderful employment of sexual relations.

Tolerance vs. Love

Those who would have us accept this lifestyle choice ask for tolerance.  I sometimes believe that we can do wrong in the name of tolerance and I feel that tolerance is the wrong word here.  I tolerate my employers onerous time keeping policies.  I tolerate the weather when it isn’t ideal.  I tolerate some of my wife’s music choices.  I think love is a higher principle and love is what is required in this issue.  I can love my brother even when I don’t approve of his choices in life.  I love my mom even when I think she is crazy.  I can, and indeed should, love those who struggle with same-sex attraction.  Love recognizes that each person is a child of God with needs and challenges and they should be treated fairly, regardless of where they stand on this issue.  Heavenly Father loves all of His children, even those who struggle with same-sex attraction.  Let us be loving and kind, indeed let us follow Jesus Christ in compassion and charity, as we continue to work through these issues of our day!

For a better idea of where The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints stands officially on this issue, check out these links:

• An official website which the Church runs to address this issue directly: http://www.mormonsandgays.org/
• An article by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, another apostle of the Lord
• An official statement regarding same-sex marriage
• The Church’s response to a petition
• The Church’s response to a nondiscrimination ordinance
• Some thoughts on Same-Sex Marriage from an instruction manual
• A brief filed with the United States Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit
• The Church’s response when Proposition 8 in California was overruled