Nurturing Mothers

I have been asked to prepare a talk on the role of mothers in the home (to be given on Mother’s Day, 08 May 2016) and so here are my notes:

• (because I will most likely follow the Primary Children singing to their mothers) When Jesus visited the New World, He ministered to the children individually blessing and praying for them.  Then he turned to the multitude and invited, “Behold your little ones” (3 Nephi 17:23).  Talk briefly about the joy of watching the children and compliment mothers on the caliber of the children they have raised who are growing up in faith.  This is truly a glimpse of eternal happiness!
• Because it is Mother’s Day we celebrate mothers.  I am sensitive to those who may find this day especially challenging for a variety of reasons and want to reassure you that Heavenly Father is mindful of all of your struggles, challenges, and pain.  Regardless of whether you are struggling with finances, a wayward child, difficulties in having children, worry about doing right by your boys and girls, health challenges, difficulties in faith, or are generally discouraged and downhearted, you are loved by a kind and wonderful Father in Heaven.  That was the clear message that Pres. Derrick shared in Stake Conference (just a couple of weeks ago on 23-24 April 2016) and I want to echo that love today.  He loves you and has sent His Son to suffer for your pains and to succor you.
• Rising to the height of 11,752 feet above sea level in Utah County is a beautiful mountain called Mount Timpanogos, the second highest mountain in the Wasatch mountain range.  It is a 7-mile hike from the beginning of the trail head to the top, during which you climb about a mile in elevation.  It is a very nice hike but at times it can seem tedious and never-ending–and you are constantly looking up and seeing this behemoth of a summit ahead of you.  When you are tired or overwhelmed, it is important to take a look back and see your progress and rejoice in the beauty of God’s creation.  Just like this experience, motherhood is hard and tedious, and you get tired and overwhelmed, but it is important to recognize that you are participating with God in the work of salvation and to take the time to marvel and rejoice in the beauty of God’s creation which are your children. (“When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.” (Mosiah 2:17) is just as important, if not more so, in the home as anywhere else)
• Roles of Mothers
  • Motherhood has an incredible job description and there was a popular YouTube video in 2014 that illustrated this, calling Motherhood the world’s toughest job
  • A mother’s roles are numerous:
    • Master Chef, Event Planner, Shuttle Operator, Financial Specialist, Chief of Logistics, Bio-hazardous Waste Manager, and many others.
    • When people ask me what my wife does for a living I tell them she is the Chief Operations Officer for a small enterprise.
    • President Hinckley called her the “Keeper of the Hearth.”
    • I think more remarkably she is called Teacher and Nurturer of the next generation, Maker of the home, and the very Guardian of the core fabric of our society.
    • She is a primary stakeholder not only in the building of nations but in the work of salvation.
  • It is easy to overlook and undervalue the contribution of mothers, and for mothers to lose sight of the glory of their calling, especially amidst the dirty diapers, mountains of dirty dishes and laundry (almost as big as Timp), moody toddlers, rambunctious youth, and constant demands for her time and attention.
    • Our society not only undervalues but devalues the role of mothers and home-making.
    • “One of Satan’s most effective approaches to draw us away from God’s plan of happiness is to demean the work of a wife and mother in the home.” (see Alan Hawkins et al.)
    • Additionally there is an erosion of the noble calling of motherhood, cultural apathy and even disdain toward child-rearing, and a consumer-driven society that increases the temptation to work outside the home in order to acquire more things (see Alan Hawkins et al.).  It is good to remember that in forgoing earning opportunities and career advancement mothers are, “lay[ing] aside the things of this world, and seek[ing] for the things of a better.” (D&C 25:10)
  • Fortunately we have the words of modern-day leaders and prophets to help us have a better understanding of just how important this role really is
    • In The Family: A Proclamation it states that “By divine design” (not a trivial statement, indicating that this is something that was thought of ahead of time and laid out by the Supreme Architect of the Universe) “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”  It also calls this a “sacred responsibility”, a “solemn responsibility”, and a “sacred duty” to care for and raise children “in love and righteousness”.  In other words Heavenly Father wants His children to come home to Him and so He gave us mothers to help lead us back.
    • In an essay I read about these sacred responsibilities (Alan Hawkins et al.) it pointed out that our Divine heritage as sons and daughters of God is not sufficient for us to become like Him and to live with Him again because we need the Atonement of Jesus Christ to lift us above our natural states.  It seems apparent to me that mothers (and fathers) form an “indispensable” part of this process.
    • Elder M. Russell Ballard taught us a little about what it means to nurture: “Nurturing refers to parenting behaviors such as warmth, support, bonding, attachment, recognizing each child’s unique abilities, and attending to children’s needs. Nurturing in and of itself is more important in the development of a child than is any particular method or technique of child rearing.”  In other words child-rearing is the day-to-day techniques that you use to execute the task of raising your boys and girls whereas nurturing is the general feelings of support and love used in creating an atmosphere that promotes faith and growth
    • In a 1942 letter from the First Presidency (as found in Ch. 22 of the Heber J. Grant book) it reaffirms, “Motherhood thus becomes a holy calling, a sacred dedication for carrying out the Lord’s plans, a consecration of devotion to the uprearing and fostering, the nurturing in body, mind, and spirit, of those who kept their first estate…To lead them to keep their second estate is the work of motherhood.”  Words like “sacred” and “holy” are typically reserved for the things we most honor and respect, and as such I feel they are especially applicable to mothers
    • President Gordon B. Hinckley taught, “The greatest job that any mother will ever do will be in nurturing, teaching, lifting, encouraging, and rearing her children in righteousness and truth. None other can adequately take her place.”
    • L. Tom Perry taught that parents (and I would add especially mothers), “know that the influence of righteous, conscientious, persistent, daily parenting is among the most powerful and sustaining forces for good in the world. The health of any society, the happiness of its people, their prosperity, and their peace all find common roots in the teaching of children in the home.” So righteous mothers understand the role of daily gospel living and teaching in the home as it influences the development of happiness and stability in society as a whole
    • Sister Julie B. Beck testified that, “There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.” and that mothers create a climate in the home for spiritual growth: “Working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate.”
• Mothers are the faith-builders
  • They nurture their children from a state of innocence to a state of accountability, knowledge, and testimony before God (Alan Hawkins et al.)
  • Elder Holland in his  October 2015 General Conference talk  taught that our mother stands next to the Savior in helping us return Home.  She helps us not only recognize His love and sacrifice (because of her love and sacrifice for us as her children) but also in inspiring within us the spark of divinity.
  • It is from mother that we learn our first lessons in compassion, sacrifice, self-less service, faith, charity, self-confidence, individual worth, personal accountability, consequences, hard work, determination, and spirituality
  • A classic example of the role of mothers in developing righteous children is found in the Stripling Warriors who were not only strong and wise but also very obedient and had a sustaining faith in God (see Alma 56:47-48 and also 53:21)
• Advice to mothers based upon the information I have distilled from the prophets and apostles.  Remember that Heavenly Father loves each of you very much (I feel inspired to share this advice even though I feel silly doing so because I am not a mother nor will I ever be one)
  • Partner with God (they are His boys and girls as well) and fill your spiritual cup regularly (don’t overlook the powerful influence of daily, personal scripture-study and prayer).  In partnering with God rely heavily upon the Atonement and remember President Monson’s oft-quoted promise: “If we are on the Lord’s errand, we are entitled to the Lord’s help.”
  • Just like I had to do when climbing Mount Timp, pause every so often to take a look back at your progress and allow yourself to be amazed at the majesty of God’s work through you for His boys and girls, look for the blessings and wonders in your life
  • Embrace your role as a nurturer and see the divinity within it, then engage your boys and girls in meaningful ways (make the best and consecrated use of your time as President Derrick taught in Stake Conference)
  • Be patient with yourself, your children, and your progress.  President Uchtdorf reminded the women of the church, “many of you are endlessly compassionate and patient with the weaknesses of others. Please remember also to be compassionate and patient with yourself… you are closer to heaven than you suppose.”
  • Recognize that mothering is incredibly challenging and exhausting mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  In recognizing this, keep in mind “let us not be weary in well doing” (Galatians 6:9) and ” it is not requisite that a [woman] should run faster than [she] has strength” (Mosiah 4:27)
  • Remember that mistakes are part of God’s plan as well.  You don’t have to be perfect and in fact your children and your husband will respect you more because of your mistakes: they know you will be there when they make mistakes

References (in no particular order):

• President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Your Greatest Challenge, Mother,” October 2010 General Conference
• Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “Because She is a Mother,” April 1997 General Conference
• Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “Behold Thy Mother,” October 2015 General Conference
• Elder Richard G. Scott, “The Joy of Living the Great Plan of Happiness,” October 1996 General Conference
• President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Forget Me Not,” October 2011 General Conference
• “Chapter 22: Teaching Children in the Nurture and Admonition of the Gospel,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Heber J. Grant, (2011), 198–208
• President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Women of the Church,” October 1996 General Conference
• Elder M. Russell Ballard, “The Sacred Responsibilities of Parenthood,” Liahona, March 2006
• The Family: A Proclamation
• Elder L. Tom Perry, “Mothers Teaching Children in the Home,” April 2010 General Conference
• Sister Julie B. Beck, “Mothers Who Know,” October 2007 General Conference
• David C. Dollahite, Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family, June 2000 (especially chapter 5, “Equal Partnership and the Sacred Responsibilities of Mothers and Fathers” by Alan J. Hawkins et al. pp. 63-82)
• Craig H. Hart, Helping And Healing Our Families: Principles And Practices Inspired By “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” September 2005

 

An Ensign to the Nations

Now I don’t usually take the time to read the monthly Ensign magazine–and so I need this post probably just as much as anyone else.  However, I did want to make a plug for the Church magazine simply because I do value its content and wanted to encourage everyone to read it.  In what other periodical can you read the words of our leaders today?  I believe that Latter-day Saints are truly blessed with the Ensign or Liahona magazine because it is a monthly feast of spiritual guidance and current words of living prophets.

I recently picked up the latest copy of the Ensign in order to have some reading material on my long flight to Washington DC and back–and I highlighted a few paragraphs that I wanted to share from several different articles.  This will be a sort of potpourri of teachings–all taken out of context–but I hope to give you a sampling of the content of this month’s edition with links to the actual articles in case you wanted to read further.  The focus of this edition is on “Marriage in Heavenly Father’s Plan” but it is all good stuff.  So without further ado:

“As you prepare for general conference, I invite you to ponder questions you need to have answered. For example, you might yearn for direction and guidance by the Lord regarding challenges you are facing. Answers to your specific prayers may come directly from a particular talk or from a specific phrase. At other times answers may come in a seemingly unrelated word, phrase, or song.” (Pres. Uchtdorf, “General Conference–No Ordinary Blessing,” Ensign, Sep 2011, 4)

“Some of the things we have done to have a strong, happy marriage are…Ask for forgiveness. We work to never allow pride to keep us from asking for forgiveness or admitting we are wrong. Love and unity are more important than who is right or who is wrong…Treat each other with love and consideration. We do not insult, accuse, or criticize each other.” (Rosana Pontes Barbosa Neves, “Building My Eternal Marriage,” Ensign, Sep 2011, 13)

“The essence of repentance is trying to change ourselves in ways that will make us better people. On the other hand, the foundation of pride is the desire to cover up our own weaknesses and focus on changing our spouse’s behavior. As we humble ourselves, we desire to improve our lives and take responsibility for our weaknesses. We are willing to apologize and become better people, which is at the core of repentance.” (Richard Miller, “Repentance and Forgiveness in Marriage,” Ensign, Sep 2011, 16)

“‘You look so pretty!’ my wide-eyed daughter told the radiant bride who had just emerged from the Washington D.C. Temple with her new husband. Our family had made the seven-hour trip to the temple for that very purpose—so our daughters, Hannah and Lauren, could see a temple bride.”  (Vicki Phillips Casto, “Setting Their Sights on the Temple,” Ensign, Sep 2011, 18)

“[I]f you remain true and faithful, keep your covenants, serve God, and love your Father in Heaven and the Lord Jesus Christ, you will not be denied any of the eternal blessings our Heavenly Father has for His faithful children…one of the great ways to enjoy peace and joy and fellowship, a sense of belonging, is by being active in the Church…every living soul is precious—very precious—to our Father in Heaven because they are His children, and to the Lord Jesus Christ because He went to Gethsemane for each one of them.” (Elder M. Russell Ballard, “Preparing for the Future,” Ensign, Sep 2011, 27)

“Don’t be afraid of marriage. I have been much more effective and much more able to accomplish things in my life with Barbara at my side than I ever would have been alone. Did we have hard times? Oh, yes. But they were some of the best times because we drew together, we prayed together, we worked together, we saw our way from one point of our lives on until today. We are so blessed that we’ve had seven children, none of which we could afford. You young people are very expensive. But don’t let that worry you. Pay your tithing. The Lord said that He’ll provide, He’ll make the way, and that was the case with us.”  (Elder M. Russell Ballard, “Preparing for the Future,” Ensign, Sep 2011, 28)

“Whatever the Lord asks is little in comparison with what He has given and in light of what we receive through our small sacrifices—even redemption, revelation, power, joy, peace, knowledge, confidence, faith, hope, charity, dominions, eternal life, and all the Father has.”  (Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge, “Valiant in the Testimony of Jesus Christ,” Ensign, Sep 2011, 35)

“For those of us who feel wanting when it comes to talents and gifts, it is encouraging to know that this invitation is not to dazzle others with who we are or what we know. Rather, our light is the Light of the World reflected in us as we simply strive to do as He did. That’s it. The Lord tells us to follow Him and not be ashamed or unwilling to stand out. Do not be ashamed to hold up His light. Do not be afraid to shine. Do not worry about the outcome.”  (Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge, “Valiant in the Testimony of Jesus Christ,” Ensign, Sep 2011, 36)

“Through our study of history we learn that there is strength and great capacity in the women of the Church, which come from their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and His restored gospel. This faith has given women the ability to make correct choices and overcome challenges and difficulties. It has enabled them to call upon the fire of their faith and the power of their covenants to be exemplary in their mortal experiences.” (Julie B. Beck, “Relief Society History: A Look at the Lord’s Vision for His Daughters,” Ensign, Sep 2011, 41)

“[A] celestial marriage requires living a consecrated life of worthiness and celestial principles, which leads to happiness in this life and exaltation in the next. If we live the laws pertaining to celestial marriage, we will, with our spouse and with our family, be able to have a little heaven on earth.”  (Elder Robert D. Hales, “A Little Heaven on Earth,” Ensign, Sep 2011, 45)

That is as far as I’ve read in this month’s Ensign and perhaps these phrases stood out to me because they are the things that I most need to work on.  I hope this little sampling has been informative for you and, better yet, has given you the desire to read the Ensign.  I love this gospel and appreciate you letting me to share it with you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Families Can Be Together Forever

I love this short video and felt that it would be appropriate for a quick post this week.  I know that families can be together forever through Heavenly Father’s plan and I am SO grateful for my family–both the family I am creating with my wife and my son, as well as the families of my parents.  Remember, “whether the family will be together depends on the choices each family member makes” (President Henry B. Eyring, “Our Perfect Example,” October 2009 General Conference).